I found out that my daughter, who has been at college for less than one month, has started smoking pot. This from a girl who has always been strongly opposed to drug use. She is hanging out with a bunch of kids who smoke. I am shocked by her behavior. We talked at length about my expectations for her before she went away. I am paying for her private school education at great personal sacrifice.
Many employers make random drug testing a requirement to continue working. I am thinking of requiring her to submit to random drug tests or forfeit my financial support. What do you think?
I didn't realize that this forum was for parents but let me give you a student's point of view (I myself do not take part in parties, drinking, or smoking pot).
Unless she's doing drugs at a harmful level (harmful to her health, life, academics) then no. Leave her alone. College kids are gonna experiment, it's a part of life. Let them make their mistakes & hopefully they'll learn from them.
Specific to pot: Unless she starts skipping class on a regular basis to smoke or like, becomes a hermit, leave her be, pot is not something to be super concerned with.
It might be more worth your time to find out why your daughter's choices have so rapidly changed. Is it her peer group? College stress? Is she even smoking, or just spending time with people who do?
Here's what: you made financial and emotional sacrifices for 18 years to raise her for 18 years. Were there ever any conditions on that? Did you ever say "You have to be a certain religion, have a certain hair style, avoid certain behaviors, etc. etc.?"
I have seen students' lives destroyed and family bonds broken because someone has recinded college payment for one reason or another. You made a choice to fund your daughter's education. You did not say "I will only fund your education if you do x, y, and z." I have also seen students' lives destroyed and family bonds broken because of drug use. But the way to handle it is not to force her to take drug tests.
It might be good to sit down with her face-to-face (after speaking to a resource on her campus--i.e. the counseling center or the substance abuse prevention staff) and talk about your expectations since you are paying and she is an adult...but it should come from a place of care and concern. She is not an employee. She is your daughter. Make the choice to care more about your investment in your daughter, not your financial investment.